Derek Franklin's Blog

unBelievable: What You Consume, Consumes You

* Note: This post is part of an ongoing series in which I am sharing the entire contents of a currently unpublished book I wrote last year, entitled: unBelievable: How to Get Unbelievable Results By Giving Up Believable Ideas. Review my blog's archives or do a search for unbelievable to see all previous posts.

What You Consume, Consumes You

• A man is literally what he thinks. - James Allen
• You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. - James Allen
• Life consists in what a person is thinking of all day. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
• A person may dwell so long upon a thought that it may take him a prisoner. - Edward F. Halifax
• Thought is an infection. In the case of certain thoughts, it becomes an epidemic. - Wallace Stevens
• No man can ever be greater than his loftiest thoughts. - Unknown
• THINK. Think about your appearance, associations, actions, ambitions, accomplishments. - Thomas J. Watson
• Nourish the mind like you would your body. The mind cannot survive on junk food. - Jim Rohn

Believable Ideas

• What I expose my mind to has very little impact on my life.
• I really don't care what the people I hang around with do, I'm my own man/woman.
• I've never really thought about how what I consume mentally, effects me. I don't think it matters, I know what's good and bad for me.
• Yeah, I don't always watch the best things on TV, but I'm able to separate fiction from reality.
• I just don't understand why I can't find the motivation to do what I know I should do!
• Why do I act this way?

 

You've probably heard it said hundreds of times since you were a kid: You are what you eat!

Ask most people what that means, and they'll likely tell you that it means that the food you consume affects virtually everything about you - how you feel, how you think, and how you look.

In other words: If you consume junk, you essentially become junk. In context of food, if you maintain poor eating habits, your body begins to break down, your ability to think and focus deteriorates, and you begin to look horrible. It may not happen overnight, but if you consistently eat junk, it WILL happen!

Of course, the opposite is true as well - if you regularly feed your body what it really needs, it's going to perform like a well-oiled machine for many, many years.

In both cases, there's nothing you can do to prevent the 'you reap what you sow' principle from working - you're going to get a result from the choices you make and the actions you take.

While the overall concept of 'you are what you eat' is generally associated with food, it has a much greater impact on your life than you may realize. How?

Well, everything you choose to consume, or allow into your life - including the food, the people, and what you feed your mind - consumes you, or influences how you feel, how you think, and the results you get. Your life becomes a reflection of all the things you immerse yourself into.

This can be both a powerful force for good, or a dangerous one - depending on the choices you make. We're going to discuss both of these in a moment, but before we do, let's look at how this idea of immersion (what you're drawn to, consume, and feed yourself) actually works.

To begin, I'd like to share with you one of my favorite parables of all time...

One evening, an old Cherokee was talking with his grandson about a battle that goes on inside of people:

"My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all. One wolf is evil - it is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other wolf is good - it is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"

"The one you feed."

The lesson of the parable is pretty clear, isn't it: When you feed something, you give it strength, power, and force. When you starve it, it becomes weak, and eventually may even die.

You have two forces inside of you, good and evil (also known as power and weakness, or positivity and negativity), battling for power and dominance. You have a choice as to which one you feed and make stronger by what you choose to connect with, and allow into your life. The one you feed the most makes you either strong or weak. It's as simple as that!

The food these opposing forces inside of you crave are the emotions you feel. The more often you trigger positive feelings and emotions, the more you feed the positive force inside of you and the stronger it gets, the more you trigger bad feelings and emotions, the more you feed the negative one and the stronger it gets.

This is very important to understand, because the emotions you consistently feel drive your overall behavior, which ultimately determines the results you get.

Want proof?

Well, have you ever been so deeply immersed into something, perhaps the love of your life, that powerful emotions developed inside of you, eventually 'consuming' you, effecting virtually all your thoughts, behaviors, and actions?

This is what happens to a greater or lesser degree every time you experience something that triggers a positive or negative emotional response within you. Whichever force you feed more has a greater influence on you.

The positive force is responsible for all sorts of great things - Happiness, a belief in yourself, a desire and ability to be creative, and so much more.

The negative force obviously has just the opposite effect. It's responsible for fear, distrust, selfishness, and just about everything else in life that plays a part in feeling awful and getting poor results.

So the question arises, which force do you want influencing your life - which one do you feed?

Most people see themselves as kind, generous, happy people - they DO feed the good 'wolf'. But at the same time, they may be feeding the evil one as well, if they constantly expose their minds to negative news, conversations centered around complaining, resentment and anger, and even entertainment based on crime, murder, hate, and violence.

All of these things trigger either positive or negative emotional responses within you, influencing you in a good way or bad.

While feeding the good 'wolf' is great, it's not enough if you want to maximize your results in life! You've also got to starve the evil 'wolf' as much as you can. Otherwise, one will cancel the other out, or if you tend to feed the evil one, even a little bit more than the good one, then feelings of anger, jealousy, and selfishness will dominate your thinking and behavior. Maybe not completely (because dominance doesn't mean overwhelm), but the scales will tend to tip in their favor when a situation arises in your life requires you to respond in some way.

When you examine your own habits, is it possible that you could be feeding the evil wolf even more than the good one?

• If you spend more time following the negative drama in other peoples' lives (on TV, in the news, on Twitter), than you do setting, reviewing and taking action on positive goals in your own life, you're feeding the evil wolf more than the good one.
• If you spend more time complaining about others than you do being generous with them, you're feeding the evil wolf more than the good one.
• If you spend more time with people who have poor habits and bad behaviors than you do with people who teach, inspire, and motivate you, you're feeding the evil wolf more than the good one.

Of course, there seems to be a common belief by many people that they can essentially do whatever they want, hang out with whoever they want, and consume whatever they want, and even if it's bad, they're not going to allow it to affect them in a bad way, but that's simply not possible! Cause and effect is an unchangeable law of the universe, it's not something you have a choice, or even the ability, to turn off through willpower or stubbornness.

Whether you feed the good or bad inside of you, it IS going to have an effect somewhere in your life - how you feel, how you think, how you decide, how you act, and ultimately, the results you get. The effects may be small, they may be big, they may happen right away, they may happen over time, but one thing's for sure...they WILL happen!

Now let's talk about some practical steps for how to put this principle to work for you in a positive way.

It really comes down to following two simple rules:

• Regularly immerse yourself in things that draw out positive emotions within you.
• Avoid things that draw out negative emotions.

True, it would be impossible to turn off all negativity in life, but the key is to determine whether you intentionally seek it out, as well as the amount of it you allow into your life. That's the difference!

One of the best ways to draw out positive emotions is to immerse yourself in whatever gets you excited, especially your passions and goals. You want to become consumed by them. When you do, they consume you to the point where the powerful, positive feeling of achieving them influences your thinking, decisions, and actions in ways that make you unstoppable at reaching them.

For example, if you have a goal to be a healthy person, it's not enough to dream about it in your head. You've got to totally immerse yourself in the idea of being a healthy person to the point where you consistently get emotionally excited about it:

• Get Clear About It - Write down your goal in crystal clear detail. Identify why it's important to you, and the positive feelings you'll experience by reaching it.
• Visualize It - Cut out big, colorful, and fun pictures of healthy people and healthy food that excite you and hang them somewhere you can see them at all times!
• Socialize With It - Associate with healthy people. Talk to them and exchange ideas about how to be healthy. Tell them what you've learned and why you think it matters.
• Learn It - Read and learn about how to be healthy. Don't just read to see words, think of lessons you can apply and see yourself applying them. Take action on what you learn!
• Write About It - Write down any significant accomplishments you experience along your journey, or any personal discoveries you make.
• Talk About It - Talk about being healthy, what it means to you, and why it's important, to anyone who will listen to you!
• Teach It - One of the most powerful ways to emotionally connect with a passion or goal is to teach it to others. One of the effects of teaching others something you're passionate about is how it makes you feel - you can't excite them without it exciting you in the process.

Remember, what you feed (emotionally), grows. Use these tools to turn your passions and goals into an emotional buffet! Also, be sure to eat from it regularly - preferably every day - consistently doing something to keep those positive emotions burning inside of you.

Go through this process for anything that's important to you, whether it's to be a great presenter, an author, to own your own business, or to move to the other side of the world.

While we discussed the tools above in context of a specific goal or passion, they are equally effective as guidelines for how to live life in general. Feed your mind positive images. Socialize with positive, inspirational people. When you talk to others, keep your conversations positive and energetic. Teach others things of value that you know.

Now, this is just one side of the process. As was mentioned earlier, while feeding positive emotions is important, it's equally important to starve, or avoid feeding negative ones as much as possible, if you expect to maximize the results you get.

This is a real challenge for a lot of people, because feeding negativity has become normal and is something much of this world thrives on (just look at what's popular). It's not only everywhere you look, but it's almost expected that you participate in discussing the latest celebrity drama, unfairness at work, or tragedy in the news that 'everyone else is', and if you don't, you're seen as an outsider.

While that may be the case, starving negative emotions in your life something that has to be done. If it were easy to do the right thing in order to get the best results, then everyone would be successful...but they're not!

So how do you do it? You've just got to start paying attention to the way things affect you, and taking the appropriate action when necessary.

If there's something in your life (a conversation, people you regularly spend time with, what you watch, read, or do) that triggers negative feelings (anger, disgust, jealousy, stress, hate, etc.), instead of getting sucked in and feeding on it, either do what you can to change the direction of what's happening, or eliminate it from your life.

Yes, doing this successfully might require a significant shift in how you engage with the people and world around you, so it won't be easy. But if I've presented a strong enough case to you as to why it's so critically important, and it makes sense to you, then you understand that this isn't simply my personal suggestion, this is how life works.

What you choose to consume, consumes and influences you. So choose wisely!  

Summary

• Everything you choose to consume, or allow into your life consumes you, or influences how you feel, how you think, and the results you get. Your life becomes a reflection of all the things you immerse yourself into. This can be both a powerful force for good, or a dangerous one - depending on the choices you make.
• When you feed something, you give it strength, power, and force. When you starve it, it becomes weak, and eventually may even die.
• You have two forces inside of you, good and evil, battling for power and dominance. You have a choice as to which one you feed and make stronger by what you choose to connect with, and allow into your life. The one you feed the most makes you either strong or weak. It's as simple as that!
• The food these opposing forces inside of you crave are the emotions you feel. The more often you trigger positive feelings and emotions, the more you feed the positive force inside of you and the stronger it gets, the more you trigger bad feelings and emotions, the more you feed the negative one and the stronger it gets.
• Which force do you want influencing your life - which one do you feed?
• While feeding good emotions is great, it's not enough if you want to maximize your results in life! You've also got to starve the negative emotions as much as you can.
• There seems to be a common belief by many people that they can essentially do whatever they want, hang out with whoever they want, and consume whatever they want, and even if it's bad, they're not going to allow it to affect them in a bad way, but that's simply not possible! Cause and effect is an unchangeable law of the universe, it's not something you have a choice, or even the ability, to turn off through willpower or stubbornness.
• Whether you feed the good or bad inside of you, it IS going to have an effect somewhere in your life - how you feel, how you think, how you decide, how you act, and ultimately, the results you get. The effects may be small, they may be big, they may happen right away, they may happen over time, but one thing's for sure...they WILL happen!
• To put this principle to work for you in a positive way: Regularly immerse yourself in things that draw out positive emotions within you, and avoid things that draw out negative emotions.
• It would be impossible to turn off all negativity in life, but the key is to determine whether you intentionally seek it out, as well as the amount of it you allow into your life. That's the difference!
• Intentionally immerse yourself in things you're passionate about: Get clear about them, think about them, visualize them, write down ideas about them, talk to others about them, and even teach them to others.
• Feed your mind positive images. Socialize with positive, inspirational people. When you talk to others, keep your conversations positive and energetic. Teach others things of value that you know.
• Starve negative emotions in your life - start paying attention to the way things affect you, and taking the appropriate action when necessary. If there's something in your life (a conversation, people you regularly spend time with, what you watch, read, or do) that triggers negative feelings (anger, disgust, jealousy, stress, hate, etc.), instead of getting sucked in and feeding on it, either do what you can to change the direction of what's happening, or eliminate it from your life.
• What you choose to consume, consumes and influences you. So choose wisely!

Next: You Get More When You Focus On Less

unBelievable: Take Fun Seriously

* Note: This post is part of an ongoing series in which I am sharing the entire contents of a currently unpublished book I wrote last year, entitled: unBelievable: How to Get Unbelievable Results By Giving Up Believable Ideas. Review my blog's archives or do a search for unbelievable to see all previous posts.

Take Fun Seriously

• A good rest is half the work. - Chinese proverb
• People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing. - Dale Carnegie
• Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one. - Dr. Seuss
• Time's fun when you're having flies. - Kermit The Frog
• Winners take time to relish their work, knowing that scaling the mountain is what makes the view from the top so exhilarating. - Denis Waitley
• The time to relax is when you don't have time for it. - Sydney J. Harris

Believable Ideas

• I don't have much time for fun anymore.
• As an adult, you have to deal with the 'real world', and 'take care of business', which has little to nothing to do with having fun.
• I'll have fun on the weekend, like everyone else.
• I'm a very serious person, and I take life very seriously.

 

There was a time in your life, around the age of five, when having fun was pretty much all you knew how to do. Outside of the occasional bath or dish of broccoli, you really didn't know any other way to live, did you?

Think back to those days...just about everything was awesome: Holding creepy bugs, the flavor of paste, and even drenching your sister's hair with glue, just to see what would happen? Ah...those were the days, weren't they?

What about today? Is having fun still as effortless and regular as it was back then, or is it a bit more of a struggle? Or worse, have you largely forgotten how to even have fun?

Well, see if the following list mirrors your current life somewhat, and as you do, observe how often fun is involved:

• Getting up early for work, when you'd rather sleep in - Not much fun
• Shaving or putting on makeup - Still not fun
• Commuting to work - Unless you have a sports car and an open road, probably not a lot of fun
• Work (and all the demands, emails, meetings, and confrontations that go with it) - This is where fun goes to die, right?
• Overtime - The money is OK, but fun?!?
• Commuting back home - See earlier observation...
• Taking care of life (bills, laundry, cooking and eating dinner) - Let's say 50/50, but only if you eat with your entire family.
• Downtime (watching TV, spending time with friends, reading, etc.) - Relaxing...perhaps (unless something at work is weighing on my mind), fun...maybe
• Doing it all again tomorrow - Yeah, right!

There's not much about this list that involves the idea of fun, is there? Which is a bit scary when you realize the amount of time you spend doing the things on this list likely make up a majority of your life!

Of course, there's usually time for fun some nights after work, and during portions of the weekend, but you have to ask yourself: When did having fun go from my general mode of living, to something that needed to be 'scheduled' into my life on nights and weekends?

You might be thinking to yourself: Well, as an adult, you have to deal with the 'real world', and 'take care of business', which has little to nothing to do with having fun! 

Says who?!?

It's this kind of attitude (often passed down by well-meaning parents, and reinforced around the water cooler at work by people who feel like slaves to their jobs) that continues to drain a lot of the joy out of peoples' lives, and has been a leading factor in the epidemic levels of stress, anxiety, and unhappiness that are consuming society.

Here's why...

Fun, happiness, and joy are essential elements to a balanced, productive life. When I say essential, I mean essential - like eating food, breathing air, and drinking water. And just like food, air, and water, you need to regularly mix fun and rest with work and taking care of the serious aspects of life. By regularly, I mean throughout the day, week, month, and year.

As human beings, our minds and bodies aren't designed to deal with the constant pressure and stress that life throws at us, without breaking down in some way. Regularly having fun, or even finding ways to make work more enjoyable, are keys for avoiding overwhelm, and burnout, as well as maintaining a sense of joy and happiness - things that make life worth living.

So, with the real complexities, and time-constraints of life, how can this be done effectively? Here are some practical and very actionable ideas.

Find Ways To Make Boring Or Stressful Activities Fun

Let's face it, when you think of activities such as studying, paying bills, and doing the dishes, the last thing that probably comes to your mind is the idea of having fun.

This isn't necessarily because the activity is inherently terrible (OK, paying bills may be an exception), but it's usually because you've not yet discovered a way to strongly associate any kind of benefit with doing them.

To prove to you that I'm not crazy, just consider the idea of sitting at your computer all day for work. There are a lot of people (including myself) that jump out of bed, excited to do this each and every day (it's a big part of how I express my creativity and run my business). I love it! 

On the other hand, there are people who would rather lay on a bed of nails and have concrete blocks set on their stomach than be stuck staring at a computer screen all day.

So, is sitting in front of a computer all day a bad thing? Well, as you can see, it's really a matter of who you ask. In my mind, I've associated a ton of benefits to doing it, so I enjoy it. For others, they may look at it with drudgery, because for them, it's nothing more than work.

Of course, the ideal life would mean never having to do things you don't necessarily want to do, but that's not reality - we all have to do things in our lives, sometimes regularly, that we have a hard time enjoying. The key is to find ways to make those kinds of activities a bit more fun and enjoyable. True, you may never get to the point where you'll take time off work just so you can stay home and do the dishes because you enjoy it so much, but if you have to do the dishes anyway, why not see if you add a fun twist to it in some way, which may help ease the pain of doing it.

So how do you make unfun activities fun? That sounds like a job in and of itself, doesn't it?

Well, don't sweat it, because there are plenty of creative people out there that have already come up with solutions for the concept we're talking about here, all you need to do it find them, which is easy with Google.

First, let's create a list of activities that fall into the category of being boring or unpleasant (feel free to add your own to the list):

• Paying bills
• Doing the dishes
• Grocery shopping
• Walking
• Losing weight
• Studying
• Commuting
• Cleaning
• Organizing
• Cooking

The next thing you want to do, is go to Google at www.google.com, and do a search using this format:

how to make [activity] fun

Replacing [activity] with something on the list.

What you'll usually discover are a number of articles, blog posts, and even videos, that describe some fun and simple ways of how to take the pain out of doing something most people just don't enjoy doing. You'll probably not run into anything you'll consider 'earth-shatteringly genius', but that's not the point. As I mentioned earlier, you should be content with even small ways of turning everyday drudgery into everyday 'I'm OK with this.' Take anything you can get, if it moves you into a direction of more happiness and joy.

For example, I just did a search for some ideas on how to make studying more fun. One suggestion I discovered involved the idea of drawing pictures, maps, or diagrams of what you're learning, so that you engage the creative side of your brain as you learn, as well as benefit from the repetition involved in putting a visual idea together (no matter how 'unartistic' it may be). The second suggestion was about playing the role of a teacher, where your goal is to teach to someone else (real or imaginary) about your topic. Vocalizing information in a way that makes logical sense to someone else can work wonders for your level of mastery of most topics.

This is just a small sample of some of the fun and effective strategies you can find using the technique I've described here. 

If you'd like to see this concept demonstrated on a more sophisticated level, check out www.thefuntheory.com. This site, sponsored by Volkswagen, asked people to submit ideas on how to make boring, but important tasks, more fun, with the goal of getting people to actually do them. Some of the ideas you'll see on the site are incredibly inventive, and should be a source of inspiration to you of what's possible when you look at everyday activities in a fun way.

Create A List Of Fun Things You Can Do

As odd as it may seem, one thing that often holds people back from doing something fun and stimulating is they just have no idea what to do, perhaps outside of watching TV - which may be easy to do, but does very little to bring real joy and happiness to your life.

At one time, I was guilty of this myself - it was pretty pathetic really, because I live in a college town (home of Indiana University), located in a really beautiful part of southern Indiana, where there's no shortage of things to do and beautiful places to explore. Despite these obvious advantages, I STILL regularly found myself at a total loss as to what to do (other than watch TV) whenever I had a little free time on my hands.

To overcome this challenge, I discovered a simple solution that I'm sure can help you if you find yourself in the same spot: Create a list of fun things to do!

That's right, get a sheet of paper and a pen, and create your own resource of activities that you can reference whenever you need an idea for something fun or relaxing to do, and hang it on the fridge!

When I did this initially, I thought for sure that I'd get 5-7 things listed, and then run out of ideas. What I found is that I had to force myself to stop to take a break! It's amazing how much can be right at your fingertips, which you never see until you step out of your daily routine to look for it. 

Here are some ideas for building your own list, and growing it over time. 

Begin with a brainstorming session, listing anything and everything fun, interesting, adventurous, or relaxing that's close to you (if you want, include anything within a 50-100 mile radius):

• Nature - Think of places like local, state, and national parks, lakes, trails, zoos, aquariums, and botanical gardens. If you need help with this, go to Google and do a search for, attractions [zip code or city name], parks [zip code or city name], or things to do [zip code or city name].
• Local Attractions - List places in your own town or city that are considered tourist attractions. These may be places that you've driven by 100's of times, but have you ever stopped to explore them like a tourist? Visit local historical sites, museums, and art galleries. Even put the library on your list. In addition, explore areas of your town (downtown, and neighborhoods) by foot, which can be a completely different experience than driving them in your car.
• Local Events - Farmer's markets, outdoor concerts, and various festivals are part of life in most places. Take advantage of the usually festive and fun atmosphere that these kinds of events bring. Mark your calendar to remind you to check on annual events that you don't want to miss. Use Google to discover events in your area with a search like this: events [zip code or city name].
• Visit Surrounding Areas - Take the three strategies above, and apply them to towns and cities close to you, which will open up a new world of new possibilities for you to explore and enjoy.
• Drives - Sometimes, just getting in your car and driving wherever a whim takes you (especially 'off the beaten path') can be very adventurous and fun. Me and my wife love doing this. We drive wherever we want for several hours with no worries of getting lost, then hit the Home button on our GPS when we're ready to wrap it up. These days, there are very few things we enjoy doing more, because we always see or discover something that we talk about for days, and remember for years.
• Friends And Hobbies - Add to your list anything that you like to do with your friends - inviting them over for a meal, meeting for coffee, or just hanging out together. Also, include any activities related to a pursuing a favorite hobby you may have.

Next, as you learn about various attractions and events near you (either through conversations, news articles, or other media), add them to your list. By doing this, I usually discover at least one new thing to add to my list every week. As a matter of fact, I recently visited the oldest, continually operated grist mill in Indiana (a really cool place) as the result of a news story about in my local paper. Sure, it's not exciting as a trip to Disney World, but that's OK, because the idea here isn't to locate vacation destinations, where you'll spend a week or more, but it's to find simple ways to occasionally fill a few hours to a day with something that takes your mind off of the seriousness and stresses of life. 

Another idea for adding items to your list is to, once again, tap into the creativity of others using Google. Do a search for fun things to do for free. You'll likely see activities like stargazing, photography, cooking an amazing meal, organizing a garage sale, exploring your family tree, and dozens and dozens of others.

As you see, the potential exists for your list to grow to many, many pages. But remember, don't just make the list - do the things on the list! Turn off the TV occasionally, pick something on the list, and get out there and have some real fun.

Mix Practicality And Fun

What do house slippers, coffee cups, lamps, and pajamas have in common? They all have a practical use in life, but there are novelty (fun) versions of them that do the job just as well as the normal, everyday (boring) versions do.

That being the case, I say you go with the novelty versions of some of the more practical things in life as often as you can, even if you're a grown man, professional woman, or a brain surgeon. I'm 45, and I have very serious responsibilities in various areas of my life and business, and I take care of those accordingly. But in my home, office, and car, I am not the least bit ashamed to let the kid in me come out, which I thoroughly believe is essential for keeping my life balanced and fun. 

You don't have to overdo it with the novelty stuff (unless you really want to), but you'd be surprised at just how much sliding your feet into a pair of Freudian slippers, drinking your morning coffee out of a cow udder coffee mug, or sleeping in a pair of footed pajamas can do to brighten your day (or your night). It's as if using them sends a powerful positive signal to your brain (often times, subconsciously) that you're the kind of person who knows how to enjoy themselves, and lightheartedness is a way of life. It's a simple way to offset some of the effects of dealing with the more serious aspects to life that you have to confront on a daily basis.

Not only do these kinds of 'novelty' items bring a direct benefit to you, but it's not uncommon for others to see them for the first time, and for you to share a laugh together, or for it to spark an enjoyable conversation somehow. I personally experience this all the time, and I can tell you, sometimes it can be the difference between a good day and a great day! 

In addition to slippers, coffee mugs, and pajamas, there are many other practical, everyday items that there are fun, novelty replacements for. Just do a Google search for fun novelty items for a collection of sites that specialize in these kinds of products.

Finally, keep these points in mind when adding more fun to your life:

• Be balanced and consistent - We've talked about the importance of balance in this section, and I want to highlight the concept again. Balance means consistently mixing a little fun here and there with the more serious things you need to take care of. It's just the opposite of going long stretches of working yourself to the point of mental or physical exhaustion, just so you can 'party hard' later. Extremes like this are never a good idea because our bodies aren't built to handle them over the long run. This also means the opposite is true: Being a 'party animal' is a bad idea! Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Maintain a consistent balance of work and fun to achieve maximum results.
• When having fun, focus on the fun - Whether you're on vacation, having dinner with your friends, or reading a bedtime story to your kid, when you're having fun, you want to surrender yourself to enjoying it. Live in the moment and soak it in as much as you can. Thinking about something that's waiting for you at work, or constantly checking your phone for emails and text messages is often pointless, sometimes rude, and always the wrong approach for allowing fun and enjoyment to affect you in a positive way. Seriously, focus on the fun!
• Look for positives - Many times, having fun and enjoying yourself isn't so much about what you're doing, but more your attitude about what you're doing. Two people can do the same exact work, with one person having a positive experience, and the other a negative one. Thus, the work isn't necessarily the deciding factor. My point being that you have a choice of how you view anything and everything you do. If you go into something with a perspective that it will be a drudgery (you dwell on why you dislike doing it, or complain about how you could be doing something else), it probably will be a drudgery. If instead, you focus on the positives (perhaps the physical or monetary benefits you get, the opportunity you have to help others, or whatever it may be), it can make a huge difference in how you feel about it - which is ideal, if it's something you have to do anyway. This isn't always easy to do, but it IS possible to do! As an example, my in-laws are moving from Las Vegas to Indiana to be with their family again (most of who live in Indiana). As a result, I've been asked to do something I quit doing 15 years ago because I didn't enjoy it - paint the house they bought here. It would be easy for me to have a bad attitude about doing it. But, I'm actually looking for to it, because I'm focused on the positives: I love my in-laws and this is an opportunity to show it, I take pride in any work I do and I get a chance to do a great job for them, and it gives me a chance to be physically active - something I don't get much of working on the computer every day. The activity isn't dictating my enjoyment of doing it - my attitude about it is!

You may never be able to return to the totally carefree life you had as a youngster, but hopefully by now, you can see that it's not that difficult to integrate some of the more enjoyable aspects of those days into your life as it is today. 

Beginning right now, make it your mission to take fun seriously.  

Summary

• There was a time in your life, around the age of five, when having fun was pretty much all you knew how to do - just about everything was awesome!
• For many adults, having fun has gone from general mode of living (like it was when they were a kid), to something that needs to be 'scheduled' into their life on nights and weekends.
• Fun, happiness, and joy are essential elements to a balanced, productive life. When I say essential, I mean essential - like eating food, breathing air, and drinking water. And just like food, air, and water, you need to regularly mix fun and rest with work and taking care of the serious aspects of life. By regularly, I mean throughout the day, week, month, and year.
• As human beings, our minds and bodies aren't designed to deal with the constant pressure and stress that life throws at us, without breaking down in some way. Regularly having fun, or even finding ways to make work more enjoyable, are keys for avoiding overwhelm, and burnout, as well as maintaining a sense of joy and happiness - things that make life worth living.
• Find ways to make boring or stressful activities fun: Discover creative ways to have more fun doing the usually 'boring' things in life, from paying the bills, to walking, cleaning, cooking, and commuting.
• Create a fun list of things you can do: Get a sheet of paper and a pen, and create your own resource of activities that you can reference whenever you need an idea for something fun or relaxing to do, and hang it on the fridge!
• Mix practicality with fun: Go with the novelty versions of some of the more practical things in life as often as you can, even if you're a grown man, professional woman, or a brain surgeon.
• To add more fun to your life: Be balanced and consistent about it, when having fun, focus on the fun, and always look for positives in the activities you're involved in.
• You may never be able to return to the totally carefree life you had as a youngster, but it's not that difficult to integrate some of the more enjoyable aspects of those days into your life as it is today. 

Next: What You Consume, Consumes You

unBelievable: There's Genius In Simplicity

* Note: This post is part of an ongoing series in which I am sharing the entire contents of a currently unpublished book I wrote last year, entitled: unBelievable: How to Get Unbelievable Results By Giving Up Believable Ideas. Review my blog's archives or do a search for unbelievable to see all previous posts.

There's Genius In Simplicity

• The simplest things are often the truest. - Richard Bach
• People often seek out complex answers in order to keep themselves too busy to act on simple solutions. - Derek Franklin
• Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. - Confucius
• It is simple to be difficult, but difficult to be simple. - Unknown
• The business schools reward difficult complex behavior more than simple behavior, but simple behavior is more effective. - Warren Buffett
• Complexity creates a maze between you and success. Simplicity ensures a clear line of sight. - Lee J. Colan
• Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs. - Henry Ford
• Order and simplification are the first steps towards the mastery of a subject. - Thomas Mann

Believable Ideas

• If it's simple, it can't be effective.
• That REALLY can't be all there is to it.
• If it was THAT simple, then everybody would be doing it.
• Life is complex, and there's no way around it.
• The fact that there are books upon books about _______ (losing weight, managing money, setting goals) must mean that doing it the right way is pretty involved and requires a lot of different parts to work together.

 

Born in 1452, Leonardo da Vinci was known to be a skilled painter, sculptor, architect, musician, scientist, mathematician, engineer, inventor, anatomist, and much more.

His study of the world around him led him to develop ideas that were way ahead of their time, and included the helicopter, tank, and parachute, just to name a few.

He intensely studied and made detailed drawings on everything from human anatomy, to the motion of water, as well as the mechanics behind gears, pulleys, cranks, momentum, and leverage.

Over the years of his life (he lived to be 67), he produced more than 4000 drawings, or at least one drawing a week, every week he was alive.

Do you think this man knew a thing or two about how the universe worked? Would you consider him an authority when speaking about it?

Well, after all his observations, and his decades of study and discovery, he made a statement that seemingly went contrary to everything you would imagine.

What did he conclude about all he had learned about the universe?

He said: 'Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.'

Isn't that interesting? You'd think he would've said something like, 'Everything that works right is complex and full of a lot of moving parts', but he said just the opposite.

Now the most obvious question is, what did he mean? What did he discover that shaped his belief this way?

Well, we'll never know exactly what he meant by that statement without asking him, but if we put our thinking caps on, we can come pretty close to understanding his viewpoint.

In his studies of the natural world, Leonardo observed that nature uses the simplest means to get things done - nothing's ever included if it doesn't need to be there, and if something needs to be there, only the minimum number are used (if one will do the job just fine, then two aren't used). 

For example, we each have just two ears, which allow us to hear a complete 3-dimensional space - we can hear above/below, left/right, top/bottom, or any combination of them.

Could we hear with just one ear? Yes, but we couldn't hear in a complete 3-dimentional space. Do we need three ears? No, because we hear everything in a complete 3-dimensional space just fine with two, so two it is!

Leonardo observed this phenomenon throughout nature.

In other words, he came to appreciate the genius behind efficiently running systems that could consistently produce fantastic results, all with the least amount of complexity.

He knew that the best solution to any challenge was going to be the most simple solution. Why?

Because, the more simple the solution, the fewer parts in the system that can break down, and the easier it is to understand, implement, maintain, and improve.

Are there any good examples of this concept in the modern world? Absolutely!

Not many people would argue that Google's phenomenal success is based on it's ability to take a complicated task (searching all the information in the world) and make it as simple as typing a word or two into a box. Even though they continue to provide additional services and features, their homepage at google.com is one of the easiest to use anywhere on the Web.

There are many other examples, but at this point, you're probably wondering what this means to you - how can you use this idea of finding the genius in simplicity in your own life?

Well, when you look around you, there's no denying that we live in a world that wants to complicate everything. 

Tasks that used to be simple and natural for us to do, such as eating well, have become complicated by mountains of studies that claim this is good for you and that isn't, and opposing mountains of studies that claim just the opposite. Not only that, but a trip to the bookstore will overwhelm you with hundreds, perhaps thousands, of books from authors with different ideas of how you should eat, when, and with what food, and how often.

And it's not just the simple task of eating that's become so complex, virtually everything from managing money to talking to your kids have been complicated to a ridiculous degree.

Now, I'm not saying that specific solutions to various challenges you'll run into in life aren't important, but there's a problem when you become so overwhelmed in tons of details (like most people are), that is almost paralyzes you from doing anything right.

What I'm suggesting you do is to realize that in virtually every area of life, there is simplicity to be found, used, and benefited from. You've got to learn to look past the complexity of what's being thrown at you constantly, and instead discover the core ideas and principles that matter the most, understand the reasons why they work the way they do, and then live your life by them.

In a nutshell: You want to discover, internalize, and act! 

To help you grasp this idea, let's look at some areas in life, and pinpoint some of the core principles that can be found in that area, and then consider the mindset you should adopt to get the most from them.

Health

Take a look at these core health principles:

• Give your body what's good for it
• Avoid putting into your body what's bad for it
• Avoid overindulgence
• Get moving
• Get plenty of fresh air, water, and sunshine
• Get plenty of quality sleep
• Be consistent in practicing these things

There's nothing really groundbreaking listed, is there? Despite that, do you realize that those several lines pretty much sum up most of the actionable advice you'll find in 1000's of books, magazines, and websites. While it may seem like most of the things they're telling you is new, when you stop to think about it, most of them are encouraging you to live by this handful of principles, they're just each telling you to do it in a slightly different way. Why complicate the simplicity of the solution?

Sure, there are important details to fill in, but identifying these core principles first makes filling in the details so much easier. For example, when it comes to moving, you might discover the importance of things such as stretching, monitoring your heart rate, as well as a few other important tips to help you move/exercise effectively. But again, once you've discovered the essentials, is there any need to complicate things further by learning 50 different ways to stretch, or all the different ways to monitor your heart? Find a way that works, understand the reason why it works or why it's important, and then do it! Anything more is just complicating what should be simple.

With these core health principles identified, the next step is simply to consider them whenever confronted with a decision where they can be applied.

Ask yourself: Do I need a bunch of books that tell me that too much chocolate cake is bad for me, or that eating fresh fruits and vegetables whenever I can is a good idea? Or do I really need to spend a whole lot of time and money figuring out what expensive supplements I 'need' to take when eating healthy, nutritious food regularly may be all I need (people lived just fine for 1000's of years without suppliments)?

Let's look at another example.

Business

Here are some core business principles:

• Be unique
• Focus on quality
• Give people massive value, and do it regularly
• Treat people well
• Make it easy for people to do business with you

Once again, I would argue that if you had to distill the wisdom of the ton of business books available out there, you would end up with a simple list similar to this one. If you never read another business book, but instead focused on putting this handful of principles into action, you'd most likely have a successful business that would flourish for years!

Let's look at a scenario of where you could apply these simple principles when it comes to making a business decision.

Should you start a blog, and what should you blog about?

Do you need a bunch of books to answer these questions? No! Just consider the them in light of the core business principles that are listed above.

Should you start a blog? Well, would it make it easier for people to do business with you? If yes, then do it!

What should you blog about? Well, it should be something unique, and you should focus on giving readers massive value (tips, strategies, etc.) related to your field or topic. Also, you should give them this value regularly. Done!

With just a few core principles in mind, you were able to make an important decision easily and quickly. Simplicity at its finest!

As mentioned earlier, this idea of identifying and using simple solutions touches every area of your life. Here are a couple more quick examples:

• Money - Make more, keep more, grow it more, spend less, don't buy on credit, have a budget
• Relationships - Treat others how you want to be treated, show love, be honest, give more than you expect back

I could go on and on, but I think you get the idea. For anything you do in life, identify 3-7 core principles that, if you apply, will be responsible for a majority of the positive results you'll experience.

Starting with just a core set of principles, there's a lot you can figure out on your own from there, without the need of investing a lot of time and money on a ton of books that do little more than teach those core principles to begin with. 

That being said, there will definitely be details you can fill in along the way, and reading some books, magazines, and websites will help you do this. But as you read and learn, you'll have a central point of reference (core principles) that you can tie what you're learning to. This will help you not only solidify your appreciation and understanding of those core principles, but it will help you realize that you don't need to constantly look for and fill your brain with a bunch of complicated rules and guidelines in order to get great results.

Discover for yourself the genius in simplicity! 

Summary

• After a lifetime of observing and studying the universe, one of history's greatest geniuses said: 'Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication' - he came to appreciate the genius behind efficiently running systems that could consistently produce fantastic results, all with the least amount of complexity.
• Why is finding simplicity the best solution for any challenge? Because, the more simple the solution, the fewer parts in the system that can break down, and the easier it is to understand, implement, maintain, and improve.
• Unfortunately, we live in a world that wants to complicate everything. Tasks that used to be simple and natural for us to do, such as eating well, have become complicated by mountains of studies that claim this is good for you and that isn't, and opposing mountains of studies that claim just the opposite.
• In virtually every area of life, there is simplicity to be found, used, and benefited from. You've got to learn to look past the complexity of what's being thrown at you constantly (everyone and their uncle 'seems' to have a totally unique 10-Step solution), and instead discover the core ideas and principles that matter the most, understand the reasons why they work the way they do, and then live your life by them. Anything more is just complicating what should be simple.
• For anything you do in life, identify 3-7 core principles that, if you apply, will be responsible for a majority of the positive results you'll experience.
• Starting with just a core set of principles, there's a lot you can figure out on your own from there, without the need of investing a lot of time and money on a ton of books that do little more than teach those core principles to begin with.

Next: Take Fun Seriously

unBelievable: The More You Turn Off, The More You Turn On

* Note: This post is part of an ongoing series in which I am sharing the entire contents of a currently unpublished book I wrote last year, entitled: unBelievable: How to Get Unbelievable Results By Giving Up Believable Ideas. Review my blog's archives or do a search for unbelievable to see all previous posts.

The More You Turn Off, The More You Turn On

• I shut my eyes in order to see. - Paul Gaugin
• Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer. - William S. Burroughs
• An ounce of intuition is worth a pound of tuition. - Unknown
• Insight is not a lightbulb that goes off inside our heads. It is a flickering candle that can easily be snuffed out. - Malcolm Gladwell
• A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something. - Frank Capra
• You get your intuition back when you make space for it, when you stop the chattering of the rational mind. - Anne Lamott
• The heart at rest sees a feast in everything. - Hindi Proverb

Believable Ideas

• I need constant mental stimulation, or I get bored quickly.
• Sitting with nothing to do is such a waste of time.
• I need to be constantly connected to the people and things that I like.
• I hate quiet, and being alone with my thoughts feels uncomfortable.
• I'm always looking for more things to keep myself occupied from the moment I wake up to the time I go to bed.
• I don't know why I always feel so busy, but never accomplish much.

 

Imagine you're in a crowded stadium where the home team has just won the world championship of everything! Everywhere you turn, fans are going crazy, fireworks going off, and the team song is blaring through the massive sound system above you. This place is pure chaos, and you're soaking it all in with amazement because the energy is completely irresistible!

In the middle of the stadium, amongst the all the cheering people, thundering noise, flowing confetti, pulsing music, and flashy Jumbotrons, is a man holding a sign and speaking right at you, trying to get your attention. He has something important to share with you, but you're so into everything going on around, that you don't even notice him.

Who is this mystery man, and what does he want with you?

This man is your inner voice, intuition, and know-how, and he's anxious to help guide you on your way through life.

He's been trying to get your attention for a long time, but because of all the noise and distraction that's consuming every ounce of your attention, you've never seen or hear him, and you probably never will! Unfortunately, this means you're missing out on all the good things he wants to share with you.

Now step back into reality, and let's spend a few minutes exploring your current lifestyle.

If you were to make an honest assessment of what you do every day, throughout the day, would you say that you are you constantly engaged in at least one of the following activities:

• Talking on the phone
• Texting
• Watching TV
• Listening to music
• Sitting in front of the computer
• Watching a movie
• Talking to someone in person
• Playing a game
• Reading a book

Or consider this: Are you always immediately jumping from one activity to the next without a breather in between (other than to eat, drink, sleep, work, and visit the bathroom)? When you hang up the phone, does the TV come on, and when your favorite shows are over, do you get online, at least until your friends come over to watch a movie, and once they're gone, do you start playing your favorite game, and on and on and on?

In other words, are you like a lot of people - do you seemingly need constant mental stimulation, and is your brain always engaged, doing something?!?

Well, remember that inner voice, intuition, and know-how we talked about earlier? Just like everyone else, you have one built inside of you, and it has some extremely valuable insights to reveal to you, but if you never turn off the noise and distractions outside of you, you're never going to be able to hear and benefit from it, which would be a huge waste of one of your most valuable resources.

This is a resource that all of the greatest thinkers, artists, innovators, and scientists, past and present, have known how to tap into, and if you've ever wondered what it was that allowed them to do the amazing things they're are known for, this is it!

When you tune into your personal inner voice, it gives you:

• Answers to important questions you've been asking
• Insights for decisions you need to make
• Inspirational ideas for you to pursue
• A sense of when to do something, or when to not
• And so much more

When tune out and ignore this valuable internal resource by never turning off the noise outside of you, you often find yourself wondering:

• Why you can't make any sense of what's going on in your life
• Why you often make terrible decisions you regret later
• Why you feel unfulfilled because of never understanding how to pursue your passions
• Why you can't get yourself to do what you need to do

Which outcome is more appealing to you? The choice is obvious, isn't it?

So, if you'd like to hear and see what you've been missing and reconnect with your inner voice, then let's dig into how to make it happen.

First off, you need to understand that your inner voice loves quiet time - when you sit still and your brain is disengaged from outside noise and distractions. This is because:

• Calm On The Inside Allows It To Work Efficiently - Imagine trying to put together a jigsaw puzzle inside of a wind tunnel, when all the pieces of the puzzle are constantly being blown all over the place. It would be next to impossible to complete the puzzle. In a similar way, you have a huge collection of knowledge and experience (puzzle pieces) that your inner voice and intuition can analyze and organize into something incredibly useful, but it's going to be virtually impossible for it to bring it all together if, on the outside, you're always stressed, and you're always 'on', which never allows things 'settle down' inside of you.
• It Doesn't Like To Yell - When it's ready to inspire or nudge you in some way, your inner voice or intuition isn't normally going to scream at you. You're going to have to pay attention and listen for it. To do this well, you have to quiet down what's going on outside of you on a consistent basis. You need to learn what your inner voice sounds like, so when it does speak-up, you'll know it!

Now let's discuss how to bring your inner voice and intuition to life!

Let me start by saying that if you look, you'll find that there are literally hundreds of books on the topic of meditation, visualization, and similar practices. In my opinion, this is a very simple process that doesn't require much instruction as the amount of books would suggest. I mean, it's just purposeful thinking, and as a lifetime thinker already, you don't need much assistance to get good at it, you just need a few guidelines to follow:

• Turn Off The Noise - You've got to eliminate as many distractions in your environment as you can. Trying to do this exercise with the TV or loud music on in the background is pointless. I'll say it again, you won't hear what's going on inside until you turn off what's going on outside.
• Close Your Eyes - To see and hear clearly what's going on inside of you, you've got to close the window to what's going on outside of you. Your eyes are a large part of that window, so keep them closed while doing this exercise.
• Get Still - Sit up straight and comfortably, and remain still. You want to be in a state of calm and relaxation. Take several slow, deep breaths to help you do this.
• Dwell On Positive Ideas, Pictures, And Emotions - I'm not a believer in the 'empty your mind approach' to meditating. As a matter of fact, if you look at most definitions of meditating, you'll find it's associated more with reflecting, concentrating, and thinking deeply - it's an active process. So, what do you want to reflect on and think about? Think about the experience of achieving one of your goals. Relive one of your favorite memories. Think about things you're thankful for. Consider a scenario where you can apply something you've learned recently. Think about your accomplishments and what they mean to you. Ponder an important question. Consider ways to apply the wisdom in one of your favorite sayings. Words that describe this part of the process include: Emotional, visual, detailed, positive, and fun. For the best results, I'd suggest you focus on quality over quantity - spend quality time dwelling on one or two ideas each session, instead of jumping all around to a bunch of different thoughts or ideas.
• Commit Yourself To At Least 5 Minutes A Day - As with most good habits, you won't benefit from this process if you only do it a couple minutes every few weeks. Five minutes a day isn't too much to ask, is it? Especially considering what practicing it regularly will do for you. Let me be blunt, if you have five minutes a day to check Facebook, watch TV, or play a game, you've got five minutes to do this.

It's important to keep in mind that you may not experience any massive revelations in your life right away, but that's OK, because the effect tends to be more subtle than that.

Sometimes during your session you'll get a feeling about something you should do, or an answer to a problem will pop into your brain. But more than anything, you simply begin making better decisions, you become more creative, and solving problems becomes easier - and often, your ability to do these things improves so naturally that you don't even know it.

Summary

• You have an inner voice, intuition, and know-how. It's constantly at work, trying to help you, but because of all the noise and distraction that's consuming every ounce of your attention, you rarely ever connect with or hear it. Unfortunately, this means you're missing out on all the good things it can help you do.
• Are you always immediately jumping from one activity to the next without a breather in between (other than to eat, drink, sleep, work, and visit the bathroom)? When you hang up the phone, does the TV come on, and when your favorite shows are over, do you get online, at least until your friends come over to watch a movie, and once they're gone, do you start playing your favorite game, and on and on and on? In other words, are you like a lot of people - do you seemingly need constant mental stimulation, and is your brain always engaged, doing something?!?
• If you never turn off the noise and distractions outside of you, you're never going to be able to hear and benefit from your inner voice/intuition, which would be a huge waste of one of your most valuable resources.
• An inner voice/intuition is a resource that all of the greatest thinkers, artists, innovators, and scientists, past and present, have known how to tap into, and if you've ever wondered what it was that allowed them to do the amazing things they're are known for, this is it!
• When you tune out and ignore this valuable internal resource by never turning off the noise outside of you, you often find yourself wondering why you make terrible decisions, why you feel unfulfilled, and why you can't get yourself to do what you need to do.
• Your inner voice loves quiet time - when you sit still and your brain is disengaged from outside noise and distractions. This is because calm on the inside allows it to work more efficiently, and it doesn't like to yell.
• To bring your inner voice/intuition to life: Turn off the noise, close your eyes, get still, dwell on positive things, commit yourself to doing this at least 5 minutes a day.
• It's important to keep in mind that you may not experience any massive revelations in your life right away, but that's OK, because the effect tends to be more subtle than that.

Next: There's Genius In Simplicity